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Johnny Be Good Meyer
UNbelieveable! No joke...even if I told you, you wouldn't believe me ..Just Jokes. No but seriously as the Melbournites say and whom wish they had a city skate like ours...................SENSATIONAL! The skate started with the usual complaints from Dave, we are all late again, can’t seem to get away before about ten past nine and definitely too late for a Chatswood run, also there is too much risk of rain. SHIT THIS SOUNDS ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE GRAHAM HORSNELS' SKATE REPORT!! I'D BETTER CHECK MY REFERENCES....

“Newtown skate” cc
Hyde Park Yep thats' right,
across the Park without incident,No thats wrong!! somebody put their foot in a rat trap...lucky they were wearing their hard boots eh!
Out along Oxford St. to Taylors Square Yep thats' right except we all know that thats a man dressed up Graham!!! No body could have boobs that big . I reckon they are simply Basket balls, soccer balls or some dammned balls!!!!! Talk about a target audience...we are the only straight boys and girls who are ever in that area! We actually clean up that area every time we skate through! A fast roll down Bourke St. Yep thats' right, Green Square Yep thats' right, those hoping for a good run down the grass hill at Sydney Park were actually not to be disappointed due to the soft wet ground...(ok well I found it quite good as I fell and skiddded on my face throught that grass...and it does give me a better complexion...)
With rain threatening Dave with absolutely no guts to brave it...ok I am sorry Dave you dont physically have a gut but you definitely have to work on the spiritual guts...hurried us along and all on up King St to our official drink stop on Missenden Road. Yep thats' sounds about coasha!
We nearly lost one skater to a truck as he entered on to King St.,... well I accidently pushed him in front of me when I heard the sound of the very well known Truckster.. one that I played with as a child more so than my koala bear! but other than that, no real problems. Yep thats' ok Graham!
All looks very safe and sound so far...so far.... Missenden Road roundabout provided the usual entertainment Yep thats' right too!
Across Paramatta Rd. and into to Bridge Rd. A fairly long up hill skate from there toward Glebe Point Rd intersection. (No I am sorry you must learn the art of (AS the Yankees say) Skiting, connecting with a moving object that actually propels you forward whether it be up,down or under!)
At this point, Graham Horsnell and a couple of co-conspirators, decided to move ahead of the pack to get a start on the fast downhill that winds its way to Wentworth Park and the fish markets.
Unnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
GotchaGraham!!!!!!!! I got a hold of some documents from shit knows where, and found out what really happened. Apparently D Ting, G Horsnell, R Bensen and some other co-conspirators, sent each other documents discussing how to rid city skate of the notorious loud noise that scares the whores on Oxford street and actually puts balls back on bastardized bum enterers!!!!!!!! (NOTE:Please look at this in the light of the seriousnous of this report please!)
Now this is really where the truth must come out. Grahame says he paused outside the well patronised pub on the corner, waiting for the action to begin whereas in fact in "the documents" he was ordered to take up position there and give a secret signal to the police up Glebe road to tell them that it was all about to happen. The secret signal was to look out for the oldest skater in the world and see if he pisses against the Pub on the corner! (This way Graham didn't really have to reveal himself to the Police!) The conspirators had ordered their members (mainly stupid Canadians as they could always be deported) to steal a couple of flares...NO,no ..no! not those maggots in Oxford street actually living in flares (whom actually only experience a flare up occassionally) But those real live mother f&%#@king flares that actually can burn your hand clean off! Well you only have to ask yourself one question... " Do I feel lucky? Well do ya PUNK!"

Well I can certainly tell you at this
 
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