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Crash, bang, wallop! 30/10/02 There’s nothing quite like a good night’s skating with your mates. A laugh here , a giggle there. Yep, (almost) nothing beats it!

Often as the skate-pack winds its way up towards Taylor Square, we at the back here whispered rumours that this night would be a Bondi skate. Often these rumours are falsehoods. But on this night rumour became reality.

Nothing too eventful occurred on our ascent to Bellevue Hill, save for a butt comparison by two of the young ladies (with a bit of help from a keen male observer). So the real fun started with the first of the downhills – BIRRIGA ROAD.
A general warning for roundabouts etc. was issued to those who hadn’t previously experienced the thrill of this smooth descent. Then it was off - down, down, down., we screamed. The exhilaration of letting loose on this run had the three keenest skaters, Chris, Mark & Bradley skating back uphill to give it another go. The rest of us surely considered doing the same, but most of us realised by the time we got to the top we would be too knackered to enjoy the run back down.

We then strode out along O’Sullivan Road for a fast skate to the intersection with New South Head Road. It was now time to head back towards the City. So we headed up along New South Head Road to the intersection with William Street, Double Bay.

We head down William Street for safety reasons. It allows us to avoid major traffic, whilst enjoying the delights of downhill skating with your mates. The last thing we want is for anyone to hit a car. So throughout the skate we are always at pains to warn fellow skaters of approaching cars & other hazards. This also provides us with a sense of belonging, a spirit of community, a oneness that is seldom found.

So as we rushed down William Street, through the first roundabout to where the road levels off, one skater thought he’d introduce another skater’s head to a parked 4WD. Rumour has it that it was an act of spite borne out of jealousy. It is not known whether it was jealousy of Helen’s fluent & compact skiing ability, or the fact that she, not he, attracts Graham’s amorous affection.

Helen reckons Phil A placed his hands on her arse & gave her a boost. Phil A reckons his hands were on her hips. Helen reckons that Phil’s turbo-boost was so powerful (many women have made similar comments) that it unweighted her, causing her to lose balance. Then in attempt to arrest her speed, Helen’s brake bit & shot her suddenly to the left. Phil reckons Helen’s projectory was that of a right-angle. One moment she was going straight & the next she had turned 900 and ploughed straight into the parked 4WD. Unfortunately for Helen, the brunt of the impact was borne by the left-hand side of her face. Just as well she was wearing a helmet as this may have mitigated the force of metal on flesh.

I was miles behind but I reckon his hands were definitely on her arse. And Graham, seeing this intrusion on his territory, skated across to belt Phil. Phil’s peripheral vision picked up the approaching Graham, so he ducked just as Graham threw a haymaker. Helen looked around as all this was happening & unfortunately copped Graham’s fist in the side of the head. The 4WD story is just a ruse to cover up a sordid little tug-of-war for Helen’s affections. This conspiracy theory was further enhanced by a close inspection of the 4WD that revealed no marks – enough said. Helen is reportedly on the mend after spending the night in a neck brace & Phil & Graham are reportedly holidaying together on the Gold Coast in preparation for Schoolies Week.

A special mention must go to Glen, who appeared from nowhere with a car to provide transport to the injured party.

Eventually the skate proceeded back to the City. It was a tough night. There were lots& lot
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